Everything I’ve managed to manifest in my relatively short lifetime has been a direct by-product of me not understanding the definition of the word ‘No’. My Father tells me it’s a word I’ve been adverse to since birth and my boyfriend would probably tell you that not much has changed. It’s one of my more endearing character flaws, but really and truly, I believe it’s also my most valuable asset.
About 4 years ago I collided with the harsh reality that I didn’t have enough money to do pretty much everything I wanted to do. Touring with my band was out of the question due to other people’s schedules and finances, I didn’t have enough money to pay someone to properly cut my record with me and that ‘right person’ I was waiting on to discover me and make all my dreams come true still hadn’t shown up to any of my shows. Bummer….
It was a frustrating time for me. Everywhere I would look for help and support I was presented with more roadblocks or reasons why not. In retrospect I think it was one of the more pivotal times in my career since it was at that point when I decided to take matters into my own hands and tune out all the ‘no’. If I wasn’t going to be able to go on tour with my band, then I was going to figure out a way to do it without them which resulted in something called my ‘One Woman Army’ :
If I wasn’t going to be able to pay someone to spend the time to make my album the best it could be, then it was my responsibility to learn how to do it myself. If nobody existed that was going to be my champion and savior, then I would just have to be that person for myself.
The day I got behind the computer and took matters into my own hands was the day my career truly began. Up until then I perceived all my obstacles as things that were preventing me from getting things done, instead of using them as opportunities to create a new path. As a young artist it was hard for me to understand that instead of being entitled, I was empowered. That sentiment is one that I think everyone who is successful eventually comes to terms with and those who aren’t, never truly grasp. Once I accepted the challenges that came with making my dreams come true, I was able to make it happen.
My whole life has been one foot in front of the next. Although I haven’t walked anything remotely close to a straight line, it’s taken me a long, long way. When I look back I see the step that made me not only an artist, but one of very few “Women in Audio” and set me apart from my peers. I see the step that emancipated me from my own expectations of what the word ‘Artists’ meant and made me a much happier person. I see the step that got me my dream job working for Ableton and reaching thousands of electronic musicians across the globe.
The next step I’m taking is to empower other young women to start taking those moments when they’re told ‘no’ and turn them into ‘yes’. Society tells us women don’t have a place in the music industry as producers, engineers and DJ’s, but I say yes they do. In conjunction with the Lower East Side Girls Club in downtown Manhattan, we’re going to provide underprivileged girls the opportunity to get behind the computer and make things happen for themselves. Outside of the technical skill set I can provide them with, what I really hope to impart is that anything is possible once you stop letting people tell you no and start telling yourself yes.
Who knows what the next step is or which direction it will take me in, all I know is that wherever I’m headed, no one’s going to stop me.